In today’s social media society, there’s pressure to always be happy, successful, and put together, after all, there’s an image to uphold.
Consider all the times we tell others we’re “fine”.
The checker at the grocery store
“How are you doing today?”
“Fine, thanks.”
The barista at the local Starbucks
“How’s your day going so far?”
“Good, busy.”
Co-workers you pass in the hall at the office
“Hey, how’s it going?”
“Good.”
Your partner/spouse
“Are you alright?”
“I’m fine!”
“You don’t seem fine.”
“I’m FINE!”
“Really?”
“YES! I’m FINE!”
BUT
Are we really fine?
Maybe.
Probably not.
In fact, the less fine we are, the more we try to cover up how we’re truly feeling.
We secure our masks tightly to hide feelings of doubt, insecurity, and shame, fearing judgement and rejection if we were to reveal our true thoughts and emotions.
The lie we tell ourselves is that no one will like us if we show our true selves. Unfortunately, this misguided viewpoint prevents us from having deep, authentic relationships with others. It destroys our health and happiness and eventually leads to isolation and mental illness.
One of my best friends lived behind a mask for years. She kept telling others that she was fine. Her behavior began to change. She refused to let down her mask and share how she was truly feeling. Her fear and shame became so overwhelming that she reached for alcohol, pills, and street drugs to self-medicate. She lost her marriage. She stopped taking clients and eventually lost her massage therapy business. She had to sell her possessions to meet her living expenses and fund her drug habit. She eventually overdosed.
Masks serve as protective barriers to shield us from the discomfort of exposing our innermost struggles. We wear masks of happiness, success, and composure, which may provide temporary relief, but eventually backfire, by increasing feelings of fear, shame, anxiety, overwhelm and depression. Over time, we begin to feel like an imposter.
Hiding emotions impact our relationships with others. In the case of my friend, masking her true feelings resulted in divorce. Lack of communication can lead to misunderstandings and strained relationships. Our loved ones may sense that something is wrong but do not know how to provide support. This can lead to frustration and resentment.
Suppressing our emotions can manifest in physical symptoms such as migraines, indigestion, and muscle tension. Often, we associate these symptoms with factors other than stress, such as changes in weather patterns or eating the wrong foods.
Emotions, even difficult ones, serve as important reminders that something needs to change. These changes can guide us towards growth and self-discovery. When we suppress our emotions, we may miss out on valuable opportunities for growth and development.
Masks perpetuate the misconception that mental issues should be hidden and suppressed.
Fear plays a major role in our reluctance to show our true feelings. We fear being judged, misunderstood, and ostracized for revealing our vulnerabilities. Being perceived as weak or broken prevents many individuals from seeking the help and support they desperately need. As a result, mental health issues go unrecognized and untreated, leading to further suffering, isolation, and sometimes, death.
Pushing through fear is not easy, but is essential for unmasking mental health and promoting awareness. It takes courage, vulnerability, and a willingness to challenge societal norms and expectations. By confronting our fears and embracing vulnerability, we create safe spaces for authentic, empathetic connection with others.
Finding an objective, supportive third party to share true feelings with, is the first step in moving past fear and removing the mask. Close friends and family members may be supportive but are not always objective. A coach, counselor, or therapist is supportive and objective.
Unmasking mental health is not only about individual healing; it’s about creating a culture of acceptance and understanding. When we unmask our struggles, we encourage others to do the same, creating a ripple effect of compassion and support. By sharing stories and experiences, we break down barriers of stigma and shame, opening the door to meaningful conversations and positive change.
Creating awareness of mental health begins with us. It starts with acknowledging our own struggles and vulnerabilities and having the courage to speak up and reach out for help. It involves challenging stereotypes and advocating for inclusive spaces where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued. It requires prioritizing mental health education and resources in our communities, businesses, and organizations.
By advocating for mental health awareness, we take proactive steps for removing societal masks that prevent meaningful relationships, impede success, and erode health and wellbeing.
